You won't find faith or hope down a telescope
by Weregonnafixthistogether
Summary: "I must find her, I must find Jemma!" Everything is so confusing. Your head hurts. Everything revolves. You move without perceiving. The only thing you need to do is hook the strap of the parachute and hope to find her. That damn belt that you can't close.


**You won't find faith or hope down a telescope**

"_I must find her, I must find Jemma!"_

Everything is so confusing. Your head hurts. Everything revolves.

You move without perceiving.

The only thing you need to do is hook the strap of the parachute and hope to find her. That damn belt that you can't close.

Everything continues to turn, the wind coming in from the open door makes your face tingle and your eyes water.

The seconds seem eternal.

And the damn belt still doesn't want to hang up.

Then a yank, the backpack raised from your shoulder and the device ripped from your hand. You don't understand what's going on, you only scream that the antiserum worked but that she jumped.

Your head still hurts. The pressurized air bothers you.

Are you still standing, with one arm stretched forward and one leg slightly bent. You slump to the ground massaging the base of your neck and continuing to stare at the tailgate open.

It all happened so quickly that for you is hard to believe that it happened.

You hear footsteps behind you and Agent Coulson's voice that asks you what happened, even if he can imagine it very well.

"Jemma", "jumped", "antiserum", "worked".

Are the only words that come out disconnected from your mouth.

You're still a little shaken. You can't believe she did it.

A noble gesture but absurd.

You stand up and shoot up to the monitoring room on the top floor, you must activate the Bus' cameras or heat detectors.

You feel a pain in your stomach: concern, faith, anxiety, hope, fear. You stumble going up the steps.

"Fitz".

You hear that someone is calling you, but you doesn't care, you continue your path by increasing the pace even more. You rush on the table and start push quickly electronic buttons.

On. Camera 4. Zoom. On. Nothing.

Detector 2. Back camera 3. On. Still nothing.

Total overview. On. No results.

"Oh, come on!", you whispers slapping the table edge.

You continue to operate with the various cameras when suddenly the screen went dark for a few seconds, the Bus shudders, then returns to normal.

The electromagnetic pulse.

Was Ward able to reach her and operate the device?

A motion of relief fills you for a few moments, then is surpassed by rage.

Anger towards her for having brought you onto this plane some time ago and launching herself without thinking.

Anger toward Coulson for accepting the case. Anger toward Ward for having put you aside from making a noble gesture. Anger toward yourself for not having done more.

An unfounded feeling.

You can't blame anyone. You know very well the dangers of this profession.

You clench your fists and wait.

One of the most unnerving waits. You can't express any thought that is consistent. You don't know what to do, you feel totally lost.

You don't want to acknowledge anything, good or bad has it is.

You can only move frantically on your legs, continuing to look at the screen.

You take out from the room and you move towards the spiral staircase that leads to your laboratory.

You smash into Skye who is running in the opposite direction.

Then the news.

You don't know where it came from, don't know how, don't know anything, but it came.

The best news in a long time.

Safe.

She's save and she's well.

You sigh happily and you smile.

You drag your hands across your face and you laugh, letting out the accumulated tension.

You don't know when you can see her, definitely Coulson wants to scold them, but only the thought of being able to see her again, alive, makes you impatient.

There is a risk that you could take out with your own hands for what she did, but you're still impatient.

You feel the rational part of you come back.

Where is Coulson? Where is May? What is the procedure? Are we sure she's okay?

And suddenly you come back to move frenetically, you don't know exactly where go. You go downstairs, but there is no one.

You stop for a second on the last rung of the ladder, you look at the tailgate which is now closed.

You don't know what it means to lose someone so dear and so close. Fortunately, you've never lost a dear friend or relative.

But the situation has put you in great emotional crisis.

The confusion was, is, still too much.

You could not describe your feelings, the not wanting to rationalize what happened surely is in the first place. You could never have imagined life without your partner, why start now? Yet you took the risk and you started to hope, to pray that all was for the best.

Science and faith.

You take a breath and go back upstairs, in Coulson's office.

You are about to enter but you stop, hearing him talk on the phone.

"Immediate emergency landing".

Just a few moments and you can see her, yell at her how stupid she was and embrace her because in spite of everything she is safe, and an error didn't become a regret.

The Bus lands.

May escort Jemma to her room and later in Coulson's office, without giving you the opportunity to meet her. As you had expected.

You go to your room, you sit on the bed, hugging the pillow in your arms.

You'll wait.

You hear a knock at the door, which opens slightly.

A face and a voice all too familiar.

"Fitz".

You lay the pillow next to you, you get up.

It's not true that you'll never find faith and hope in a telescope. In the telescope, in those particles; you have put your faith.

The hope to succeed, to save her. The lost hope when at the time it didn't work, found again when elevated from the ground you saw the rat in perfect health, and lost again when, between your screams, you saw her fall.

That damn fear of not being able to see her again fused to the faith of a rescue almost impossible, but managed.


End file.
